Drinking Man's Diary

Well, to get here I had to create content. We C21st peeps all know what that means but wouldn't it be great to create content, create contentment, create happiness.

What is the meaning of life the sages of ages ask. After millennia, the answer appears to be that there is none that we know of, and while we await some revelation let's admit that we might as well minimise the suffering in the world.... dontcha think (as Alanis would say).

Or we could just drink ourselves silly.

The Stranglers were my first "favorite band" before The Clash and I don't remember ever thinking more than peaches when I listened to the song. And I listened to it a lot. Boy was I a young and innocent then. It was only later they reissued it with a peach in a bikini bottom - then I clued in.

Thanks for Sarah Shahi photo - you know I have a soft spot for her.

As a kid I wanted to be a ladies hairdresser (bottom half). Kentucky always wanted to be smothered in D cups.

So, how do you tell whether you are a tit man or a bum man, Max. Well, here's a little test.

Are the Peaches in the Stranglers' song breasts or buttocks?

All my life I have longed to share a birthday with someone famous. As a child I also fantasized that Marilyn Monroe and Hermann Hesse were my parents, what with both of them dying shortly after my birth and all that like. Such dreams, such innocence.

But, fuck me sideways with a swastika. Back in the stained radiance of reality, I find that a red-nosed Nazi is my most famous birthday sharer. No chance of a joint *party* there then.

Winston locked him up in the tower and I don't blame him. But, don't you think Rudi looks a bit like Kentucky.... around the edges ... ? Same hostile body posture too.

I tried and tried, but I just can't fit it into 140 characters.

'He who has known the other days, the angry ones of gout attacks, or those with that wicked headache rooted behind the eyeballs that casts a spell on every nerve of eye and ear with a fiendish delight in torture, or those soul-destroying, evil days of inward emptiness and despair, when, on this ravaged earth, sucked dry by the vampires of finance, the world of men and of so-called culture grins back at us with the lying, vulgar, brazen glamour of a Fair and dogs us with the persis­tence of an emetic, and when all is concentrated and focused to the last pitch of the intolerable upon your own sick self - he who has known these hellish days' may be content indeed with normal half-and-half days like today.'

So this weekend I went to the movies with the missus. We saw the new Avengers movie and loved it. For me one of the highlights was the Hulk character - and how he had the two funniest moments in the movie: when he punched Thor and when he slammed the shit out of Loki. These were hilarious.

All the other Hulks have been too serious, but this one nailed it.

Great movie, and of course Scarlett Johansson looked amazing as always.

I always tell my kids such hoary old chestnuts as:

• anything that comes too easy in life is not worth having, 
• the only real happiness comes from working hard and reaching your goals, 
• and achievement is the only real path to lasting happiness. 

But I've just spent 6 months building this incredibly complex system which I'm proud off, but frankly the few beers I drank this evening were more rewarding. 

I think Kentucky figured this out years ago and The Consul and I are just catching up. At fifty I guess it is time we knew this. Maybe the beer tastes better because of our achievements? I hope so, but I'm not convinced. So with that thought I think it is time to get another beer.

... changed the way us boys looked at women, and we were never the same again. Kentucky realized he liked the back door, The Consul started writing poetry, and I started playing with my magic wand.

... no cleavage.

I love those boys and their posts are always interesting, educational, entertaining, and/or bizarre. But if I'm not here to guide them the cleavage quotient goes right down.

And we can't have that can we.

As Kentucky Allen would say!

Happy Birthday Consul, I know I've been quiet recently - the project I've been on for the last 6 months just launched and it has stepped up another notch.

I've enjoyed your travels and posts. And now I have to move my beers to the bottom of the fridge, boy that gave me the horn. Not just the horn, but the very hard horn.