Frenchie's Tart

The other day, I was in The Swan enjoying a quiet pint when Frenchie’s Tart staggered in, accompanied by her flea-ridden hound, Mildieu. She slammed down her absinthe and proceeded to explain, in non too polite, broken English, that we share 80% of our genes with dogs. “That’s nothing,” I …

Could we?

Could it really happen here? Is it possible? Surely you’ve heard the stories about people texting in their sleep? Are alcohol and blogging inherently incompatible? Could we actually be losing our blogging minds?

Texas

I was outside the Swan the other day, beer in hand, when Frenchie wobbled past on his old bone shaker. He raised his fist and shouted,”There are only two things that come out of Texas – steers and queers.” The disreputable, old onion-muncher had wheezed out of sight when I …

Clarity

To test the condition of your pint, hold it up to the light and assess the opacity level. You should be able to see through the beer as though through a glass of crystal clear spring water. What’s on the other side of your pint?

Birra

Sometimes the pint of foaming ale on offer fails to live up to expectations. On such occasions the only option is to turn to the kind of beverage favoured by Johnny foreigner. I decided to go Italian last night and waxed lyrical to the Consul (nursing his pint of brown …

Bob's Ring

During a lull from the serious business of searching for the Perfect Pint, I noticed Bob playing tenderly with his ring. I asked him if he had recently had it polished. It brought back memories of the old college days when Bob had a very loose ring. The way his …

Kentucky Dry.

So Max arrived. Imagine his surprise. I had decided, in the search for the perfect pint, to run a rigourous sampling programme of non-alcholic beers. In 51 days of sampling, I had finally discovered the perfect non-alcholic pint – Beck’s Blue. A classic of its genre. I explained to Max …