Frenchie's Tart

The other day, I was in The Swan enjoying a quiet pint when Frenchie’s Tart staggered in, accompanied by her flea-ridden hound, Mildieu. She slammed down her absinthe and proceeded to explain, in non too polite, broken English, that we share 80% of our genes with dogs. “That’s nothing,” I replied, looking Mildieu straight in the eye, “we share 50% of our DNA with bananas.”