Now we are 55

Barometers. Comparators. Benchmarks. Now and then I catch myself remembering and reflecting on what was my Dad like when he was the age I am now. Similarly, we all think of the people our age we know, colleagues, old school friends, celebrities, and wonder how we’re doing in comparison. Just to get a sense of proportion for those fears of aging. So, at 55 I could compare myself with Tom Cruise, one of the tall orders (irony intended) for us mid-sixth-decade guys. Sure he’s better looking then me, better preserved, better paid (!!!), but isn’t he a nut? He always seems nice and everyone says he’s a darling, but isn’t he a nut? He’s a banker at the box office (even The Mummy couldn’t kill that) but isn’t he a nut? Ask Nicole and Katie, I don’t know.

Well, a more realistic point of comparison is Neil Morrissey of Men Behaving Badly fame (and little else). Which is where you get the payoff. You see, he used to go out with Rachel Weisz. And he’s the same age as I am, and he’s not better looking, and he’s not better preserved, and he probably these days doesn’t get paid more than me. He’s just like me really: neither of us is going out with Rachel Weisz.

Max is ok. He’s only 54 … er, like Johnny Depp.