The Drinking Man's Diary

The Drinking Man's Diary

Searching for the Perfect Pint?
A Fallen Hero?
A Fallen Hero?
No I'm not talking about The Consul - he is...
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Here COMES Santa
Here COMES Santa
Christmas comes but once a year. Poor Bastard. He must...
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94 Beers To Go
94 Beers To Go
So luckily after tonight's session I'm down to my last...
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Gagging?
Gagging?
So, we were clocking the talent in The Retreat in...
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Star Smile Strong
Star Smile Strong
May I interject one statement at this juncture? And I...
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The Old Steps and Moondance
The Old Steps and Moondance
Many of the memories I have of Leeds University 30...
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Let’s Celebrate Our Differences!
Let’s Celebrate Our Differences!
What a difference in our choices of top Bond Ladies:...
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Green beer
Green beer
Now, I was chatting in the bogs with Frenchie again....
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Drinking helped me find Bob Dylan again
Drinking helped me find Bob Dylan again
So anyone of our regulars (still three) will know that...
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Learning to laugh at yourself
Learning to laugh at yourself
So this weekend I went to the movies with the...
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Frenchie nose
Frenchie nose
When Frenchie pulled his ears back last night he found...
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But we were happy in those days, Myrtle
But we were happy in those days, Myrtle
So, the old " 'Myrtle is struggling.'". Well I remember...
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DoA?

DoA? Drunk or Alcoholic? Lovers of etymology will wish to debate the difference in meaning between these words. But there is an answer. Scientists have also long wished that the meaning of the universe could be expressed on a t-shirt. For the drinking-man it already has been, banishing the term …

Never Knowingly Undercooked

I often use to notice that after a heavy drinking session (and sometimes before) the Consul liked to dine on a Poor Man’s Surf and Turf. Sometimes a simple turf and chips was enough, so long as the turf itself was battered. An establishment often frequented by the Drinking Man …

The Consul can be wrong!

So one thing that happens when you drink is things have a habit of looking better. The Beer Goggle Test is a perfect example of this. So I could be way out of line here, but as much as I love and respect The Consul, I think when it comes …

I Only Drink to Excess

“I only drink to excess.” This was one of my favorite phrases back in my college days. In those days Kentucky and I had a slightly different focus and drinking as much as we could was a big part of why we went out. This was the time that Kentucky …

The Rolling English Road

The Rolling English Road Before the Romans came to Rye or out to Severn strode, The rolling English drunkard made the rolling English road. A reeling road, a rockin’ road, that rambles round the backs, And in its dust the Consul ran, Kentucky, Bob and Max; A merry road, a …

Lord in 'is 'eaven

For a drinking man, searching for the perfect pint can become a religious experience. When Max explained this to a member of his local nunnery, she revealed to him a religious experience that he hadn’t yet had. “Lord in ‘is ‘eaven,” he exclaimed.

We Were There

We were there when the Wars of the Roses were over – still fighting, but this time it was 7.5% perry, hangovers and gout. Luckily with Bob’s help and plenty of fried egg sandwiches we prevailed.

The Beer Goggle Test

Bob saw this girl at The Warehouse. She was incredibly attractive. Fortified by an evening of heavy drinking, he went up to her, started to dance, and asked her out. They decided to meet at The Fav the following evening. He told me she really was gorgeous! The next evening …

Bob's Ring

During a lull from the serious business of searching for the Perfect Pint, I noticed Bob playing tenderly with his ring. I asked him if he had recently had it polished. It brought back memories of the old college days when Bob had a very loose ring. The way his …

Hit me there!

One of the great heroines of beer drinking was my good friend Joan. I was reminded tonight of how she stood up for women’s rights in a pub when dealing with a particularly cranky landlord in the Barley Mow. The landlord, a crusty one legged character aptly known as Stumpy, …

Speared by a Marlin.

Day two. After a slow start for Max, he found his drinking head with a swift two pints of Magners at lunch. Later, the evening began in earnest with two pints of ESB. Bob had come over to join us – his usual relaxed self and he dragged us out …

Crawling around.

The Punch Bowl looked inviting: not too busy, a good selection of well-priced beers and punctuation was optional. “Slappers, fucking slappers”, Max exploded inside. “Give it the one eye, no ambience – nothing! Plenty of minge but not the minge we want Kentucky. I’m appalled by this pub. A crime …

Kentucky Dry.

So Max arrived. Imagine his surprise. I had decided, in the search for the perfect pint, to run a rigourous sampling programme of non-alcholic beers. In 51 days of sampling, I had finally discovered the perfect non-alcholic pint – Beck’s Blue. A classic of its genre. I explained to Max …

An Evening of Strong Cider.

If memory serves, the night I had one too many ciders in The Swan I was drinking Moonshine Cider. The Swan is a great little pub in York and they have this rare feature of a new guest cider every month. Well I’ve always been partial to a good British …