The Hermione Gauger

Now everyone has a type, they say. Hermione is probably mine: feisty, intelligent, compassionate, rational but feminine, attractive but not vain. But when is it acceptable to fancy her? Here is a handy guide for watching Emma Watson (b.1990) to help you respond with impunity and without social censure to enquiries posed by a woman.

  1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Release date 2001)
    ‘I am not a paedo’
  2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Release date 2002)
    ‘I am not Humbert Humbert’
  3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Release date 2004)
    ‘Are you calling me a pervert?’
  4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Release date 2005)
    ‘Do I look like Clare Quilty?’
  5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Release date 2007)
    ‘What is the age of consent in our country?’
  6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Release date 2009)
    ‘She’s legal’
  7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 1 (Release date 2010)
    ‘Totally out of my league’
  8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 2 (Release date 2011)
    ‘Do you even know how much she earns?’